Death Is Becoming
by Morbid Asylum
Summary: Vernon Dursley Kills Harry, But Harry Doesn't Die. Instead He Wakes To Find Dumbledore And Snape Hovering Over Him, And He Is Pissed. The Story Of His Quest To Rid The World Of Dumbledore. HarryVoldemort Slash!
1. Chapter 1

Vernon Dursley hated his nephew more then anything else in the entire world. To be rid of him once and for all would be worth anything. He had been thinking about this for a long time, and had finally come to the conclusion that anything included murder. So it was on a calm July night, the night of the boy's birthday that he walked up the stairs with a knife, several ropes, long pins, lighter, and gag.

He had it all planned out. He would tie the boy down, and make him scream, but none of his screams would be heard. When the boy could scream no more, he would take the knife, and ever so slowly drive it up through the boy's heart, and they would be rid of him forever.

Vernon Dursley approached the padlocked door, and took out his keys. Lock after lock opened, and finally the door was free. The boy was sitting on his bed staring at the clock, but he looked up when the door opened, "uncle?" he asked. Vernon didn't think the boy had he right to call him that. He approached the bed, and the boy scooted away in fear of the look in his uncles eyes, "what…"

- (0) -

Harry potter was used to being beaten. It happened almost every day, so at first when the door opened he did not look up, but when he did not hear the usual thundering footsteps that accompanied such beatings he did indeed look up, "Uncle?"

His uncle was approaching the bed slowly, his arms full of various tools, and torture devices. Harry could deal with this, if not for the look in his uncle's eyes. It was the look of a madman right before he kills you. The look of someone who has crossed the bridge of rational thinking. The look of some one who was about to kill, "What…"

Harry scooted back away from his crazed uncle, pressing his back against the bed post. The metal bars opened an old whip wound, and caused him to wince. Harry wasn't sure how it happened, but some how, he found himself gagged, and bound spread eagle to the bed. This was new for his uncle, but Harry knew what was happening. He was going to die. When the knife first entered his skin he wasn't surprised. When his uncle was pounding into him, and calling out in pleasure, he still wasn't surprised. And when that dirty blade finally found its way to his heart, he was begging for it.

- (0) -

Vernon Dursley was blissfully happy. He had enjoyed himself more then ever before that night. He had tortured, violated and killed his nephew, and it all seemed so right. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong. He had just helped to clean the world. Even the boy couldn't say he had done anything wrong. He had been reunited with his abominations of parents. That was every orphan's dream, so the boy couldn't say he wasn't begging for it.

Petunia would be so proud. They could finally be normal again. They wouldn't need to worry abut awkward questions that they couldn't answer. There would be no more fake stories to spread, or excuses to create. They could forget about abnormal creatures. Dudley would get his room back, and they would be the most normal people on the block. Envied by all of the others. It would be perfect.

- (0) -

Albus Dumbledore was an exceedingly famous man. Almost everyone loved and trusted him. He had made a name for himself, and was very good at keeping that good name, no matter the cost. Presently, the thing he needed was Harry potter. He needed the boy to trust him, and follow blindly where ever he was needed. Without Harry Potter on his side, Albus Dumbledore was noting.

In order to keep the boy under control, Albus Dumbledore had instructed his two best friends to spy on him. They reported back once a week. After all, who needed friends when your headmaster was paying you 100 galleons a week to spy on someone famous. Albus Dumbledore used everything that he learned to manipulate the boy. He planed all sorts of adventures, and scenarios, and they boy played right into his hands. Everything was going perfectly, until the wards fell at Number Four Privet Drive.

Harry was placed at privet drive because of 'blood protection', or at least that was what the boy thought. The real reason was that the wards there were tied directly to the boy's life source, and wouldn't fall until he turned of age, or died. As that night was only the boy's fifteenth birthday, there was only one possibility, and if Albus Dumbledore's suspicions were correct, then he had a very large problem on his hands.

- (0) -

Severus Snape was a very solitary man. He did not like people, and proffered to spend his time brooding. When his floo opened late on a July night, he was not happy. When Dumbledore stepped through, he was intrigued, and irritated. And when he was told that the potter wards had fallen, he was in shock.

It was minutes later that he appeared on Harry potter's street, and sprinted to the door. The house reeked of blood. Potter blood. Not caring who saw, Snape ran up the stairs, and followed his nose to a door covered in locks. Several charms later, the door swung open, and Snape, despite his hardened stomach nearly fainted.

- (0) -

Albus Dumbledore was not nearly as fast as Severus Snape, but he did know how to get past the anti apparition wards. By the time he got through, Severus Snape had just reached the bottom of the stairs. He sprinted forward as fast as his old legs would carry him. Nothing could happen to the potter boy. If anything did, he would be ruined.

Albus Dumbledore reached the top of the stairs to see Severus Snape leaning heavily against the door way. The man gasped out that Harry potter was dead, and sunk to the floor. Albus Dumbledore ran into the room. The boy had been beaten, and raped, and there was only one person who could have done it. Albus Dumbledore felt the boy's neck, and found no pulse. He was ruined.

- (0) -

Severus Snape berated himself for being so weak and collected himself. The wards were supposed to protect Harry potter from death eaters, but apparently not from his family. Harry Potter had not been lying when he said he wasn't treated well. How could he have been so wrong.

Severus Snape entered the room to see a grieving Albus Dumbledore. Severus knew that Albus Dumbledore wasn't crying for the boy, but for the effect that the boy's death would have on his reputation. The thought was sickening. The only reason Severus Snape spied was because he wanted to be on the winning side no matter what. Both sides were equally bad, and he knew it.

- (0) -

Harry Potter was confused. He had felt his heart stop beating, and he knew that he wasn't breathing, but he was still thinking. It didn't make any sense. His wounds weren't bleeding, and they didn't hurt anymore. Harry went so far as to note that nothing hurt. It was really quite comfortable. But he knew that the comfort was too good to last, and soon each and every cut began to itch. The itching turned to warmth, and Harry could feel his wounds begin to heal, but neither his heart of his lungs were working. All he could think was that it was exceedingly strange.

The warmth disappeared, and Harry was left wishing for some of his new clothing. He had taken the knight bus to Diagon Ally and he had purchased a whole new wardrobe. Everything he bought was comfortable, and made him feel like a real person. It was wonderful. When he was dressed in clothing that he picked out he could be himself, and he forgot to worry about what other people thought. Harry potter decided to forget that his heart wasn't beating, and that he wasn't breathing, and change his clothing. With that thought, a dead Harry potter opened his eyes

- (0) -

Severus Snape watched as the boy's body began to glow, and as the wounds faded from existence. The occurrence shocking even Dumbledore. Severus Snape didn't know what he was witnessing, but it was most defiantly not normal. The glow faded from the boy's body, leaving scars behind where ugly gashes once were. Then they boy's eyes opened, and he sat up, and Severus Snape nearly died of shock.

- (0) -

Albus Dumbledore was confused for the first time in his life. A dead boy had just sat up in front of him, after all of his wounds disappeared. Many things were possible in the wizarding world, but that, was most certainly not one of them. But all Albus could think of, was not how it was possible, but how lucky he was to have been given a second chance. His reputation was safe for as long as Harry potter could walk.

- (0) -

The truth was that Albus Dumbledore had lost Harry potter a long time ago. He had betrayed the boy countless times, and his indiscretions would all be known soon enough. Harry potter's face tuned to a scowl as he saw who was standing over him. How he hated the man before him. He had caused all of his pain. He had caused all of the death, either directly or indirectly. And he had lied about everything. Harry potter stood, and gave Albus Dumbledore a glare that was fiercer then anything even the dark lord could muster.

- (0) -

Albus Dumbledore recoiled in shock when Harry potter glared at him. Most said that glares couldn't kill, but at that moment, Albus Dumbledore wasn't so sure. He could feel his body start to heat from the strength of the glare, and it scared him. He couldn't comprehend why Harry would hate him, after all he had done for the boy. He had done nothing to deserve that type of glare, or the hatred that such a glare displayed.

Albus Dumbledore's mind began whirling. He tried to think of something suitable to say. Something that would quell the fire burning in those eyes. Nothing came to mind. Should he say something typical? Should he be grave? Should he be joyful, and offer the boy a lemon drop? Should he side with the boy against his uncle?

No. Defiantly couldn't side with the boy about that. It would come back to haunt him. Vernon Dursley was only making him stronger anyway. Surely the boy could see that? He was helping him. Preparing him to meet Voldemort. Preparing him for the war where he would either kill or be killed. Yes. Vernon Dursley was a blessing.

The manipulative leader of the light settled on, "Harry my boy! We were afraid we had lost you!"

- (0) -

Severus Snape had no idea what was going on. One minute Harry potter was dead, and the next he was standing, fully healed, and glaring at Albus Dumbledore. Severus envied that glare. It was perfect in expression. It's meaning obvious. Truly powerful. It was amazing how much one could say without words, and it appeared that Harry potter had perfected the science.

Severus too, was not sure what to say to Harry potter, but when Albus Dumbledore spoke, he was quite sure that he had said the wrong thing. The boy's eyes blazed, and began to glow in the darkness. Not unlike a cat's in an abandoned alley way. Severus Snape was quite sure that he could actually se fire in the boy's eyes. Harry potter gave a low growl, and his eyes turned black. Severus Snape stepped back in shock.

- (0) -

Harry potter didn't understand what was happening. He only knew that the man in front of him had betrayed him. Harry potter couldn't believe that he would subject him to this kind of pain, and then have the gall to say that he was worried.

"You lie."

Harry felt himself be consumed with anger. It coursed through his very being. Filling him, and pulsing through his veins. He thought of how much he would like to kill the old bearded man in front of him. The desire was almost overwhelming. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that Albus Dumbledore was far more useful alive. The meddlesome old man didn't know when to hold his tongue, and when to speak, except to do anything other than manipulate people. While some extent of manipulation was bearable, the extent that he controlled people was overwhelming.

As far as Harry was concerned at that moment, Albus Dumbledore was no better than Voldemort. But at the moment neither could be killed, so he settled on asking the one question he didn't think he could answer by himself.

"Why am I not dead?"

- 12 -


	2. Chapter 2

"Why am I not dead?"

Albus Dumbledore stood frozen. The boy in front of him was not the Harry potter he knew. The power radiating off of him was almost enough to make him faint. Then there was the question. Well Harry potter had certainly hit the nail on the head. Albus Dumbledore considered his options once more. He could tell the boy that he didn't know, and risk an explosion. Or he could come up with an adequate response, that would leave Harry attach to him once more. Needless to say, he decided to try and control the boy once more.

"Your father's side of the family had a creature gene passed down through it. You are a cross between a vampire and a magical zombie. I do not know all of the aspects of your heritage, but your father left a package in my care. Perhaps if you come with me back to Hogwarts, we can take a look at it together?"

- (0) -

Severus Snape watched Albus lie through his teeth once more, and instantly knew it was a bad decision. The boy's magic faired once again, forcing the two men to the ground. He called them liars, and demanded to know the truth. Severus Snape prayed that the boy would get his magic back under control, for if he didn't it was likely that neither he nor Albus Dumbledore would remain conscious for the end of the conversation. Severus Snape's survival instincts kicked in, and he spoke.

"Control yourself Mr. Potter. Albus may not have any idea, but I have a library filled with books on creatures. I am sure we can identify your change and heritage."

- (0) -

Harry potter calmed instantly upon hearing the truth spoken. Severus Snape's offer seemed reasonable at first, but then he realized that it would put him at Hogwarts once again, and into Dumbledore's hands, and knew that he would have to refuse, or at least set some ground rules. He drew his magic back inside himself as he calmed down, "There will be rules."

Both men were visibly relieved that his magic was back under control. Snape obviously didn't trust Albus to speak, "I'm sure they will all be acceptable."

"First, nothing happens without my express permission. I am to know exactly what is happening, and the results as soon as they come back. I will need proof that they will take exactly however much time you say they will," Harry knew that he would have to be firm, or Dumbledore would just manipulate him again. The effort it was taking not to just let go and kill him was incredible, and Harry was sure that should Dumbledore break his word, that there would be no place safe enough for him.

The though of loosing control clearly disgusted Albus Dumbledore, and it shone through in his eyes to anyone who looked, "my boy, I'm not sure I can allow that," he began.

Harry's eyes lit up once more in anger. There was known way in hell Dumbledore was going to control him again. His magic flared around him once more lighting up the room, and Dumbledore gulped knowing that he was loosing all his control, "Listen up, and listen well Dumbledore," Harry's magic bore down on the old wizard, forcing him in to a humiliating bowing position, "you are going to do as I say, or I am going to disappear, and leave you to fight in your stupid little war. I have come to terms with my parent's death, and have no reason to take revenge. In fact, the only form of revenge I want to take right now is to shit on a pigeon."

--

Severus Snape, despite being scared out of his mind couldn't help but laugh at the completely random nature of the statement. To have such a humorous statement at such a serious time had two meanings for him however, and he suspected it did for Dumbledore as well. The first was that Harry thought they were so meaningless as not to be worth being serious over, and the second implied that Dumbledore was the pigeon. Either way, it didn't look good for them.

If Albus didn't accept that he was loosing control of Harry, there would be no chance for the order, and it didn't look like that was going to happen any time soon. Severus just hoped that the old man before him didn't try to trick the boy, and betray him again. Such a move would create irreparable damage.

--

Albus Dumbledore felt control slipping through his fingers like water. If it went on in the direction it was heading, there was a chance that they would loose Harry completely. He was simply glad that Harry was immature enough to joke in a situation like theirs. To Dumbledore, that said that he was still to childish to fully appreciate the dire nature of what was occurring. He nearly grinned openly at the thought that it was easier to trick children than adults. It was with that thought that he began to formulate a plan.

"Alright, Harry. I will do as you ask. Is there anything else you require?"

--

Harry Potter was not as dense as most people believed, and he realized that the ease with which Albus relinquished control was suspicious. He decided to remain on guard, but go ahead with making his demands, "I will need a separate room in the location of my choosing, and with a portrait of a snake for a guardian," Dumbledore nodded. Apparently, that was something he could deal with, so Harry continued, "I will also need to be able to come and go as I please. There is a month left of summer, and I want my last month before school starts to be some what enjoyable."

That ticked Dumbledore off to a great extent, and Harry could see a vein start to twitch in the normally calm man's temple. Harry smirked at how easy it was to ruffle. All you had to do was give him an order, and he was gone. He was however slightly worried that he would push Dumbledore to far, but at least he would be able to claim self defense should the old man choose to attack him.

--

Severus knew that something was wrong when Albus began to loose his composure. Harry was actually asking reasonable things, and yet it seemed like Albus saw it as giving the boy too much freedom. As much as he had disliked Harry, the boy really did have a miserable life. Snape couldn't help but wonder if he had ever had a choice in anything he did.

--

Albus was getting aggravated. He could deal with a separate room. That was fine, but when Harry started to add in the complete sharing of knowledge, and the freedom to go and come as he pleased, Dumbledore knew he wouldn't be able to deal with it. Harry potter was meant to be a pawn – some one who would do as he was told, not some one with a mind who wanted freedom.

There was a quote by Aleskandor I. Solzhenitsyn that said "you can have power over people as long as you don't take everything from them. But when you've robbed them of everything, he is no longer in your power."

Dumbledore had never put much stock in that quote, but it seemed to have its place, and unfortunately for the power hungry man, this was one of those places. Indeed, Harry had had everything taken from him. He had told Ron and Hermione not to bother to write to Harry for the duration of the summer, and had also ensured that Harry would be unable to visit either of them. His birthday presents were to be opened in Dumbledore's office the first night of term, so he wasn't even going to get them. Dumbledore had planned to make Harry completely miserable over the summer so that when he returned, he would latch on to anyone who offered him happiness. Albus had planned to be that person.

It might have been better if Sirius hadn't gone off and gotten himself stuck in the veil. Harry would have had something to look forward too, but Harry had nothing, and now he was out of control. There was only one thing to do. Dumbledore discreetly tapped his ring that would send a signal to the aurors. They would be waiting outside of Hogwarts when the trio port keyed there with orders to stun on sight.

"I will do my best Harry," he informed the boy. Harry new something was up, but nodded anyway, "Let's be on our way then! Time is of the essence!"

--

Severus knew that Albus was going to ruin everything the moment he began to appear happy once more. Knowing him, he was going to try and force the boy into something the moment that they got to the castle.

Harry's magic receded, and the older men managed to stand up. Harry's belongings were already packed, as he had never bothered to unload them fully, so within seconds they were off, and Harry was headed to some new form of torture.

--

The portkey was in Harry's hand before he could do anything else, and seconds later, he came tumbling to the ground in front of Hogwarts. He saw a bright red flash after that, and knew no more

- 8 -


	3. Chapter 3

Harry woke to find himself in a stone room. There were no windows, and no visible door on any of the walls, but when he looked up, he noticed that the ceiling was spelled to be semi transparent, and Harry could see a ring of men standing around it. He knew instantly that he had been betrayed and felt rage course through him. The room seemed to expand with the power of it, and the aurors became slightly frantic as the barrier on the ceiling flickered.

'For gods sakes Potter! Calm down!' A voice sounded in his head, and he jumped.

Harry was severely startled by the presence in his mind, and his magic immediately came back to him, 'what the hell? Who's there?'

--

Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Voldemort had been pained with a head ache since the night of Harry's sixteenth birthday, and it was driving him insane. Now, a week later, it seemed the Potter boy had finally woken up. Tom felt a wave of panic and anger flow over him that he knew did not come from him. The boy had been projecting his distress through whatever link they had, and before he was stunned, Tom had heard fragments of thoughts as well. The main ones being, "why am I not dead?", "I have no real quarrel with Voldemort", and "You bastard! I'll kill you for betraying me!"

While the fact that he felt no need to seek revenge for his parent's deaths was interesting, Tom found it more interesting that by technical standards, Harry was not alive. That meant that the prophecy was null and void. When Tom examined his own feelings, he realized that aside from the prophecy, he had no important quarrels with Harry.

When he felt the anger course into him, and his head ache flared up he couldn't help but scream in his mind, 'For gods sakes Potter! Calm down!'

He had never expected a reply, 'what the hell? Who's there?'.

Tom's head immediately stopped throbbing, and he dropped to the floor with a sigh, 'Me Potter. Who else?'

--

Harry was surprised to say the least. Voldemort of all people was talking to him in his head, 'What are you doing in my brain? Isn't it weird enough that I don't have a pulse?'

Harry could feel Tom's confusion, 'I don't know. The same thing you're doing in mine. What happened anyway? All I heard was 'time to die' and then a lot of screaming about betrayal and being dead, and then my head throbs for a week until you get up, and get mad, and make it hurt even worse, and then you're all calm and I feel better,' Harry laughed in his mind. Voldemort was pouting. It was too funny, 'Oh shut up! I'm the dark lord – I don't do funny.'

'Of course not! I'm sorry for questioning your evilness.'

'Petulance! Be a good little corpse and tell me what happened,' he commanded as best he could.

Harry sent him a mental eye roll. The aurors above him were looking down at him strangely, so he gave them the finger, "Bloody Assholes! Let me out of this damn crypt!" he yelled up at him, trying to cover for his lack of resistance, 'They really are assholes.'

'I heard the first time.'

'Of course you did,' Harry settled himself against the wall, 'my uncle beat me, raped me, and then stabbed me to death.'

Tom's shock was evident, "Your Uncle!" he yelled, causing Harry to wince.

'Yeah. As a birthday present,' Harry replied bitterly.

'I'm sorry.'

It was Harry's turn to be shocked. Tom Riddle – Voldemort – the darkest dark lord in centuries, just apologized to him because of something that his uncle did. It was incomprehensible. When Harry thought about it, Tom was actually behaving differently overall. He seemed almost sane, and Harry couldn't help but wonder if his insanity was just another one of Dumbledore's tricks.

--

Tom wasn't sure what made him say it, and he wasn't sure if he would say it again, but he had just apologized to Harry Potter. There was stunned silence from both ends of the link for a few moments, before Harry replied, 'thank you.'

'You're welcome,' Tom thought that wasn't a very dark lordly thing to say so he decided to add, 'I can kill them for you if you want.'

Harry gave a mental snort, 'I was planning on doing that myself actually,' Tom nodded to himself, agreeing that it was probably for the best that he did so, 'so…Tom?...why aren't you insane?'

Voldemort blinked, but figured that it couldn't hurt for Harry to know, 'Well dark magic can act like a disease in some circumstances. Dumbledore hit me with a curse several years before I killed your parents that made the so called disease accelerate, driving me to insanity. Since I've come back, I become more normal each day. I didn't start out the dark lord you know. I was a politician first,' Harry nodded.

'Another thing to blame on Dumbledore. That man has more skeletons in his closet than anyone else I know.'

'He needs to be destroyed,' Tom agreed, 'that is actually my primary objective right now.'

--

Harry wasn't surprised by anything Tom told him up to that point, 'We need to make sure that he doesn't die a martyr though, or it will be useless.'

It was true. Should Dumbledore die as a famous sacrifice for the light, people would rally for the cause. He needed to die a broken man, and to break him, they would need to ruin whatever meant the most to him. That meant destroying his reputation.

'Will you help?' Tom asked eagerly.

'Will you figure out what I am?' Harry already planned on destroying Dumbledore, but he wanted to get something else out of it as well.

--

Tom frowned thinking it over. He could have Harry for a spy if he figured out what the boy was. It was a good deal - after all, who would suspect the boy who lived of being a traitor, "I'll do it Potter. Though Dumbledore may have the advantage of tests, I have something he doesn't."

"What's that?"

"Lucius Malfoy. If anyone knows, it's him. That man has more books on bloodlines than anyone else I know."

--

Harry laughed inwardly. It was true; Malfoy was more than a little obsessed. He was about to reply when Dumbledore appeared over head. Harry was on his feet faster than anyone could blink. His magic pulsed again as he glared upwards, and the barrier began to flicker once more, "Dumbledore! Let me out of here this instant!"

To his credit, Dumbledore at least had the sense to look a bit frightened, "I'm afraid I can't do that Harry."

Harry's eyes started to glow, "And why not?"

'Spit at him,' Tom said in his head, 'I've always wanted to do that.'

Tom's voice had a calming effect, despite the complete absurdity of the statement. Harry's magic receded some what, but his eyes continued to glow.

"Well you see Harry; it's for your own safety really."

'Harry I'm serious – spit at him! Put all your magic into it and it'll go through!' Tom was using the tone of voice some one would to trick a little kid into a dare, but Harry didn't really care.

His magic was flying wildly by that point, but he forced a lot of it into his mouth and spat. The wad flew straight through the barrier, and splattered across Dumbledore's face, "Bulls-eye you ass. I'm only in here because you're afraid of me. I will get out!"

--

Dumbledore was indeed afraid of the youngest Potter. Anyone in their right minds would be, but he couldn't let anyone figure that out. He cast a cleaning charm on his face. As insignificant as it seemed, the fact that Harry managed to spit at him through the barrier was more frightening than anything else. It meant that should the boy figure out to use his magic, he would indeed be able to get out, and that would be bad to say the least.

"Come now Harry! You must see how dangerous you magic is. You can hardly control it. You could destroy the whole castle if I let you out," the aurors that had been looking to him to see if he really was afraid of the boy nodded in agreement with that statement. They seemed to be certain that Dumbledore was afraid of nothing once more.

--

Voldemort was laughing hysterically in his thrown room when Bellatrix and Lucius came in. It had only taken a short time to get him out. They used the same trick as the Crouches used, and no one was the wiser.

"My lord? Are you alright?" that was Lucius. He was always the brave one, never afraid to initiate conversation with the dark lord.

Voldemort nodded through his laughter, "Harry…Potter…just…spit in… Dumbledore's face…in his face! I always wanted to do that!" he managed to get out.

Bellatrix looked confused, and Lucius raised an eyebrow, "My lord? Why would he do that? And how do you know?"

Tom calmed down, "Mind link. I can talk to him in my head, and he talks back. He hate's Dumbledore almost as much as I do."

Both of his servant's eyes widened, "This is great news my lord!" Bellatrix ran forward to kiss his hem, but he stopped her.

"Bella, leave us. I must talk to Lucius alone," he really hated that woman. She was loyal to the end, but was almost more insane, and irritating. She left with her eyes tearing in a way Voldemort found unbecoming. The door shut behind her with a click, and Voldemort's eyes snapped to Lucius, "Hello Luc."

The blond man's eyes widened imperceptibly at the old nickname, "My lord?"

"Call me Tom, Luc. The insanity is passing, but I have a favor to ask."

"It will be good to have you back Tom. You know I'd do anything for you," he gave a rare genuine smile.

"I need you to figure out what has happened to Harry Potter. On his sixteenth birthday he was killed by his uncle. He has no pulse, and no longer breaths at all. He woke up a little later, to see Dumbledore and Sev standing over him. Needless to say, he was upset. Dumbledore called the aurors, and captured him. He's been unconscious for the last week, and had finally woken up. He will spy on Dumbledore for us if we figure out what's happened to him."

"The-Boy-Who-Lived? A spy? That would increase our chances greatly. I believe there was a vampire in the Potter line hundreds of years ago. There was also a tenshi near the beginning of the line. I don't know what the results of that combination would be, but if the vampire was light, that might explain why he didn't die."

Tom nodded. He knew Lucius would be able to tell him what was going on. Light vampires were vampires who came into their vampire heritage after a traumatic event. Most never came into their full heritage because there were few events traumatic enough. Most light vampires started out good children, but became darker after they came into their heritage, which would explain Harry's willingness to switch sides. One did have to wonder about the tenshi blood however. He nodded and held up a finger for Lucius to be quiet a moment.

--

Harry was nearly exploding with fury. The manipulative bastard cared about nothing but himself, "I cannot believe you! What gives you the right to do this to me? I would be fine if you had kept your promises to let me do as I pleased between test! But noooo. You lock me up in a cage like some kind of animal and expect me to be fine with it. Well congratulations Dumblefuck – you just lost all my trust!"

Harry didn't even see one iota of remorse in the old man's eyes. Harry really was no more than a tool to the old headmaster, 'Harry. Be careful. He will probably try to test you now. If he tries anything to make you talk, let me in and I'll try to talk for you.'

Tom was right as usual, and Dumbledore turned to the aurors. Apparently they were going to put him in a full body bind, and take him to do some tests that could only be done while he was awake. The barrier went down and the aurors as shot down at him. Several spells veered away, while Harry managed to dodge quite a few, but the room was so small he didn't last long before he was struck down.

'Tom! What do I do?'

'It'll be fine. They're just going to cast some spells,' Tom said reassuringly, 'Just breathe, and don't worry. Everything will be fine.'

Harry was levitated out of the pit through the un-floor. His eyes darted around wildly from side to side, trying to figure out where he was. He wasn't sure when Voldemort became nice, but he sure as hell wasn't going to ask him to stop now. Harry passed through corridor after corridor until he came to a white room.

Thankfully, Tom was right, and they didn't do anything but cast spell after spell at him. Harry didn't know how long it lasted, but when he was finally dropped back into his cell, he could do little more than sink into a corner, and collapse, 'I'm going to kill that man.'

'You're not going to do it alone.'


	4. Chapter 4

Harry woke to the sound of someone singing in his head. It took him a minute to get his bearings, but once he realized where he was he groaned, "Fuck! Still stuck in this crap hole."

There were some differences from the last time he was awake. For one there was a curtain in the corner around a toilet and sink, so he could go to the bathroom. Secondly there was a long table along one wall with all sorts of different foods. Harry was immediately suspicious. He got off the floor, and took a look upwards. The aurors were all looking at him curiously to see what he would do. Harry stuck his tongue out at them, and gave them the finger, causing them to sneer at him.

'Tom, no offense or anything, but I really don't like Talking Heads.'

'Nice to hear you too sleeping corpse. I happen to like the psycho killer song – it seems fitting.'

'What's with the food?' Harry made his way to the table, and noticed that the aurors seemed to become more interested in what Harry was doing.

'It's another test. They want to see what you'll eat,' Harry could sense Tom's smirk, 'I think it's another opportunity for target practice. Can't do too much else from that cell of yours.'

'You just think it's funny to be able to say that the Boy-Who-Lived spits,' Harry retorted.

'So you're saying you swallow?'

'I'm saying that you'll have to figure it out for yourself, but for today,' he popped a strawberry in his mouth, and looked up to the auror with a notepad, 'I spit,' and he did. The strawberry flew straight through the barrier, and splatted against the auror's forehead. Harry laughed insanely, and plopped down in a chair in front of the food table, and noticed a bowl of peas, he grinned.

'Nice shot. Can you do rapid fire?' Tom was grinning manically in his head, and Harry decided to give it a try. He had seen people juggle M&M's in their mouths, so it seemed plausible. Harry had amused himself several times during the school years when he was bored by spitting watermelon seeds across the lake, and had become very proficient at it. Unsurprisingly, he found that he had quite a bit of skill with peas as well. The aurors all ended up having to step back to avoid getting hit.

Harry decided to go one step further in his barrier piercing experiments. He grabbed a lemon, and stuck an olive to it with a toothpick so that it looked like an eye, and tossed it up. He nearly fainted with the effort it took to keep it up through the barrier, but he managed to make it rotate slowly, so as to appear as if it was looking at everyone.

Tom was laughing once more at Harry's antics as Harry made the eye fly about the room insanely. For several minutes Harry managed to keep it up, but eventually could barely hold it up. He felt Dumbledore enter the room, and sent the lemon-eye strait at him. It hit the old man in the forehead, and the toothpick stuck into him. Harry gave a whoop, and collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles. He and Tom were both so amused that they forgot to question how Harry knew where Dumbledore was.

--

Albus Dumbledore was usually a very dignified man, but being hit by a lemon, and getting a toothpick stuck into his forehead did not count as being anything of the sort. Aside from that, the occurrence was also upsetting because it meant that Harry was getting more control over his magic. Dumbledore was very glad that he'd had magic blocking cuffs commissioned. They were scheduled to be there right before school started, which went along perfectly with his plans.

He noticed that all of the aurors were standing back further from the barrier floor than they were supposed to, and looked questioningly at the leader.

The man shrugged, "he's not as accurate when he can't see us."

Blood dripped down Dumbledore's forehead as he looked down at Harry's weapon of choice. The boy was creative if nothing else. He tossed the lemon over his shoulder, and headed to the side of the barrier, where he was immediately pelted by peas. Though a terrible person, he was intelligent, and managed to cast a protection charm around himself. He could see Harry glaring up at him. He watched as the boy reached backwards for a banana. Harry smirked as he began to mush up the fruit with out opening it up. When the banana became floppy once more, Harry tossed it straight at Dumbledore with the remaining bit of strength that he had, and pushed it passed Dumbledore's shield where it splattered against his already bloody face.

--

Tom was cheering in his head as Harry fainted. The small act of rebellion would affect Dumbledore more than anything. The old man was lucky that Harry had used so much strength or a banana and a toothpick to his face would be the least of his worries. However, at the moment the dark lord had other things to attend to. Namely, the potions master before him.

"My Lord," Severus bowed, "Lucius told me you needed me."

"Indeed Severus. I wish to know of Harry Potter," he had to make sure that Severus was still loyal before he could trust him.

"Dumbledore has him. He tricked the boy, and has brought him to Hogwarts where he is keeping him in a cell. I'm told the boy has a passion for spitting," a look of distaste crossed the potion's master's face, and Voldemort snickered.

"Indeed?" Severus was a tricky one. He gave just the right amount to satisfy and distract, "I'm afraid you cannot be so slippery today. Why was he taken captive? And what are they testing him for?"

Severus' face was impassive, but his eyes were conflicted, "he died, but is still alive, and they want to see what kind of creature he is."

Tom smiled, "good. I was worried you really had become Dumbledore's spy my potions master."

"Never My Lord," Severus replied vehemently.

"Sev, its Tom to you," Severus had a similar reaction to Lucius, "The insanity has been fading since I came back"

--

Severus had never really been loyal to anyone but himself after Tom had become infected by the dark magic. He, Tom, and Lucius had always been the best of friends, and they made an amazing team together. If Tom was as back as he said he was, the light had no chance of survival. Severus gave the first real smile he had in sixteen years, "we all missed you Tom."

"It's nice to be back. Let me tell you what I know."

An hour later Severus had developed a new respect for Harry Potter. he hoped that he would get the chance to witness one of his…well Severus really didn't know what to call them but they promised to be amusing. He and Tom spent the better part of two hours designing a potion to give him back the appearance he had when he was around twenty. They surmised that it would also help to remove some of the dark magic poison that had cumulated in his soul.

Severus left to go find Lucius. They had a lot to discuss.

--

It was a full twenty four hours before Harry woke again. The Aurors still wouldn't come close to the edge of the crypt, so Harry decided to go about creating yet another toy. He grabbed several straws and lemons and went to work creating a giant ball. He used a pattern that would create a ball with twenty faces – it was called an icosahedron in mathematical terms. He put olives on each one of the lemons again, but put multiple toothpicks in each lemon.

He decided to wake Tom up, as he would want to witness what he was about to attempt. He decided that twisted sister would do the trick, and began to scream it in his head. It wasn't long before he received a, 'shut the bloody fuck up Potter!' in reply.

Harry grinned, 'good morning Tom! I've made a giant lemon ball of doom.'

'What?'

'A giant lemon ball of doom. I'm going to try to send you a picture with the mind link.'

--

Tom was still in bed when he got the picture of Harry's creation. He couldn't help but be very amused, 'and you are going to chase them around the room with this?'

He felt a wave of pride, 'yep. It's going to be excellent!'

'I'll send Severus. He wanted to witness one of your episodes' Tom knew that what they were doing was childish, but like all pranks, it was fun. Not to mention that it would annoy Dumbledore to no end. Tom watched as Harry made several more food creations.

Harry took several apples and attached raisins for eyes and straws for limbs. He then took the fruit bowl, and poured the cup of blood into it along with water. The pineapple was left whole, but the potatoes all became little men like the apples. Harry set all of the men up in rows along the floor and prepared for battle.

While Tom was watching all of this he also sent a message to his potions master telling him that Harry was going to attack aurors with fruits and vegetables, and warning that the finale would include a giant lemon ball of doom. It sounded so absurd to write down that he debated sending it, but in the end, could not resist, and his fastest owl took off with it.

--

Around an hour after Harry had prepared his army, he decided to march. He was certain that Snape would have gotten the message by then, and would be ready to come when the aurors went for Dumbledore. The potatoes were the first wave. Harry marched them up the walls while chanting steps. The aurors were all very disturbed when the first potatoes came over the edge, but when they kept coming, they started to become alarmed. Harry had the potatoes get into formation before letting them loose, and sending them all around the room in a random fashion.

Aurors started throwing curses at the vegetables, but as they were not alive in the first place, it didn't really do anything. One of them even tried Avada Kedavra – though to no avail.

'You do realize how humiliating it is for them to be attacked by an army of walking potatoes right?' Tom questioned as Harry heard the sound of a potato man stabbing someone in the foot with his toothpicks.

Harry giggled in an undignified manor, 'I don't think I'd do it if it wasn't so bad for them. The potatoes are in trouble. I have to send in the apples.'

'You do that.'

Dumbledore and Snape entered in time to see the apples march over the edge of the barrier. The aurors who weren't busy killing the potato militia groaned and went to work trying to get the apples the pineapple went up next on the arms of four .apple men. They set it down as soon as they got up, and charged at the nearest auror. Meanwhile, Harry levitated the pineapple, and sent it flying in circles about the room.

--

Snape nearly lost all composure when the pineapple came up. The whole thing was just too funny. Harry probably could have broken down the barrier if he tried, but instead chose to send up potatoes with straw arms and toothpicks to attack the aurors. The insult was not lost on him. He couldn't wait to see the 'lemon ball of doom' as Tom had called it. It promised to be most interesting.

Several of the apple men had gathered by his feet, so he cast a reducto at them before ducking under the oncoming pineapple. A watermelon had joined the fray as well, and was rolling along under the pineapple to trip those who would have tried to duck. He cast a reducto at one of the apples, and it exploded.

A cry of, "My General! Noooo!" was heard coming from the cell, and Snape couldn't help but laugh. Dumbledore stared at him, and he shrugged.

"Just because I choose not to laugh does not mean that I do not know how."

--

Dumbledore was furious. Harry Potter was at it again. There were potatoes and apples running about the floor, and a pineapple and a watermelon were pretending to be bludgers. It was absurd. He quickly fired off several reductos, and went to town working on the little army running around the floor. He didn't notice that Harry had floated the bowl of bloody water above him until it had been dumped.

Dumbledore stood their, drenched in blood, and for a few moments all movement stopped. Snape snorted, nut went back to work eradicating the potato militia. The rest of the people were too scared of what would happen if they pissed Dumbledore off to do anything and just went back to work. Albus himself was fuming. This would make the second day in a row that Harry had humiliated him, and it just wouldn't do. He would get that boy back into a pawn mold, and teach him how to behave towards those who are better than him. The first step would be to figure out what he was,

Unfortunately, Harry wasn't showing the normal signs of being a vampire or a zombie, nor any other magical creatures. It was most puzzling. His magical poweress was far above normal, and yet he was still going strong after not eating for nearly two weeks. Dumbledore resolved to take him for more testing when he passed out again.

The bowl flew off back down into the cell to where Harry was, and Dumbledore knew that something else was going to happen.

--

There had been two large bowls on the table, that when stacked together made a globe. Harry placed the lemon ball of doom inside them and set it in the center of the room. As he levitated it slowly through the barrier he started to sing the theme to star wars that was played in the movies when the death star was shown. All of the potatoes turned towards the ball, and saluted it as best they could. The aurors became concerned at that point.

The ball slowly rotated for a few minutes before Harry opened it up. One auror cursed when he saw what was inside. Dumbledore's fury reached new levels. Tom was nearly bouncing with excitement. Snape really lost all of his composure, and Harry started to get tired.

The first spell flew at the lemon ball. But Harry used the bowls to make it ricochet, and hit one of the other aurors. He closed the two bowls almost all the way, and had the extra toothpicks fly out through the small slit that was left. More curses could be heard as the aurors were hit by the toothpicks. Harry grabbed one of the spare lemon eyes and tossed it up so that it could circle the lemon ball of doom. That particular lemon looked more like a porcupine than anything else, and it was specially made for Dumbledore.

Within five minutes Dumbledore had numerous toothpicks sticking out of his body. Harry was exhausted, and decided that one last round ought to do the trick, so he pulled the bowls completely from the lemon, and fired off the last of the toothpicks. The majority hit their targets, much to Harry and Tom's amusement. Harry gathered the remaining potato and apple warriors into a formation, and used the bowls to shield them as they retreated, while the lemon ball of doom sunk back down slowly. A single pair of hands clapped from above.

Apparently, Dumbledore was extremely ticked off as he approached the edge of the cell because his normally calm face was turning red, "Harry Potter! You will stop this insanity from now on!"

"Oh, is pruney old Dumbledore scared of lemons and potatoes? Chances are looking better for Voldemort then," Harry grinned.

Dumbledore became flustered, "I will be back."

"How very terminator of you," Harry responded flippantly, as he sat down in his corner again. The old man glared, and made a speedy exit with his potions master in tow.

As soon as he left Harry sighed and relaxed, 'that was fun.'

'I enjoyed it'

Harry rolled his eyes. Tom had been cheering and laughing the whole time, 'I'm sure. Have you figured out what I am yet?'

'I have my suspicions, but I'm not certain. I don't want to tell you until I'm certain, but I'm positive that you have a combination of creatures in you,' Harry gave a mental nod to show that he understood. It would be better to be sure of what he was rather than to construct beliefs, and have them torn down.

He did have one other question, 'Tom, why aren't you crazy anymore? You said it's been happening since you got back, but why did it start in the first place.'

There was a long pause before Tom spoke again, 'I think it was your blood Harry. I used your blood to bring me back – I can't think of anything else it could be.'

'My blood?' Tom sent him a mental nod. It made sense, Harry supposed. He had magical creature blood, but no one knew what it was. I could have all sorts of odd effects. It would also explain why he wasn't affected by the part of Tom's soul still left in him.

'Harry? You there?'

'Yeah – it's just a lot,' he could tell Tom understood. A wave of exhaustion washed over him, 'Tom, I'm going to sleep. Good night.'

'Good night Harry.'

--

Harry had so exhausted himself pulling those stunts on Dumbledore that he didn't wake until the first day of his fourth week in captivity – he suspected that his sleep had been helped along by something because he honestly hadn't felt like he had used up that much of his energy. He wasn't really inspired to do anything, and instead ended up just lying there on the floor. He wondered what kinds of awful tests Dumbledore had come up with. He was fairly certain that they wouldn't be able to hurt hi because he was the Boy-Who-Lived, and had to be kept alive to be a pawn. He hopped that Tom had figured out what he was, because it was starting to grate on his nerves.

--

While Harry was knocked out, Tom had gone to work with Lucius. They followed back Harry's mother's line to see if she had any creature blood, but found that besides being part of a pureblood squib line, she was nothing special. The Potter line also had traces of various creatures, including a variation of zombie, demon, and veela, in addition to the light vampire and tenshi blood.

Creature blood happened to be the one exception to common pureblood ideals. Most lined had breed with at least one creature through the years, but did not count it as a kink in the chain of pure bloods. Lucius surmised that the tenshi blood had reacted with the vampire blood to create whatever Harry was. He guessed that the two blood types probably fused when Tom hit him with the killing curse, and activated when Harry died.

It would explain why he had characteristics of both creatures. The lack of pulse and breath was due to the vampire blood, while the control over magic came from the tenshi blood. They weren't sure what he would eat as tenshi's were vegetarians for the most part, and vampires ate only blood. The two were contradictory, so Tom believed that they would cancel out, and Harry would have free range of foods, though he would not feel compelled to eat them often.

While they were working, Severus had come in, and tried to relay the story of what Harry had done to Lucius, but couldn't make it all the way through without laughing. Tom was glad they had their trio again. He was going to try his hardest to ensure that it never got broken up again. Severus did bring bad news with him. Apparently, Dumbledore was planning to question Harry when he woke up, and then keep him unconscious until the start of school when he would attach wrist cuffs to control Harry's magic, and alleviate the boy so as to have another chance to regain his trust.

The thought made Tom boil with rage, and so he and Lucius had gone to work.

--

'Harry?'

Harry was still lying on the floor when Tom called him, 'what's up Tom?'

'You need to listen to me. We have very little time,' Tom replied urgently.

Harry sat up immediately, 'what is it?'

--

It was the day before school was set to begin and Harry was finally allowed to wake up. When he looked up, all of the aurors were all standing around the edge of the barrier. He sneered at them all, and got into a cross legged position on a chair to wait. It wasn't long before Dumbledore arrived. Apparently the old coot had strengthened the barrier while he was asleep, as he was having a hard time breeching it for any long period of time. Harry gave the man before him a death glare royal of a Malfoy, and closed his eyes.

"Harry," Dumbledore began, "I assume you realize what is going to happen now?" Harry glared, and gave a nod.

"You're going to obliviate me, so that I don't turn against you, and you're going to put things on me to restrain my magic, so you don't have to be afraid of me any more," he spat out. He worked as fast as he could to weaken the wrist cuffs. They were strong, but he kept focused, and they began to ware down. He knew that he would have to keep Dumbledore talking.

"Of course not my boy! It's for your own good really," his eyes weren't twinkling despite the happy expression on his face. Harry got another spell off the bands.

"Just like locking me up like an animal is good for me?" he raised his eyebrow. Apparently that was too much for Dumbledore as the old man immediately ordered the aurors to bind Harry. He lasted a good five minutes that time before he was bound. Dumbledore lifted him up, and snapped on the cuffs, but not before Harry got two more spells off. He was sure the remaining ones could be broken easily as they were just to restrict how far away his magic could go, to ensure that he couldn't use magic through someone else, and to make the cuffs irremovable.

Dumbledore had his wand out as he stepped close to Harry. He whispered in the younger man's ear, "Everything I do has a purpose. It just happens that you serve mine. OBLIVIATE!"


	5. Chapter 5

Dumbledore smiled as he watched the obliviate surround Harry. When the glow subsided, Harry blinked rapidly, and looked around in confusion, "Sir? Where am I?" Harry looked perfectly innocent again. Dumbledore was ecstatic. He smiled at Harry brightly.

"Well you see Harry, after Sirius died, you became very sick. The disease made you very violent, and we were forced to keep you unconscious for the duration of the sickness. You only just healed enough for us to wake you," his eyes were twinkling with success. He plastered a kind, regretful expression on his face.

Harry looked upset, "How long have I been out? Did I hurt anyone? How is everyone else? Why don't I remember anything?"

That was enough to convince Dumbledore, "everyone is fine. You managed to damage my office quite a bit, and there were several incidents – hence the aurors. In all honesty I'm not surprised that you don't remember anything. It was a very taxing illness for your body, "he smiled, and realized one small error he had made. Harry wasn't breathing, and had no pulse. He thought the boy would notice for sure, but he appeared to be breathing out of habit, "I just need to cast two spells on you Harry would you mind?"

Momentary hesitance flashed through Harry's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with trust as he realized who he was talking to. He continued to frown, but nodded his consent. Dumbledore smiled, and cast the charms that would make Harry believe he was breathing, and had a pulse. Like all most glamour charms, they enveloped him, and seemed to seep into his skin. Harry looked down at his arms, but saw nothing, "what were those for sir?"

"They were monitoring charms Harry. They will let us know if you are having a relapse," he replied encouragingly. With any luck, Harry would be right back in his pocket once more, and the world would have its golden boy back

Harry nodded his understanding, "that seems like a good idea. But you never did answer me about how much time I was out? It doesn't feel like a very long time. Will I be going to the Dursley's?" Harry looked upset at the idea.

"No Harry, I don't think you'll be going back there again. You see, they expressed a desire to never see you again, and have moved away. Thus far, we have been unable to find them," it was a complete lie of course, but Harry seemed to accept it. He almost seemed happy. The boy truly did not appreciate what the Dursley's had done for him, "as for how long you've been out, well Harry, tomorrow is your first day of school."

Harry's jaw dropped, and Dumbledore was certain that his look of shock could not have been faked. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. Finally he took a deep breath and spoke, "I think I would like to lie down now sir," he said steadily. It obviously took a lot of effort.

Dumbledore smiled kindly, "of course my boy! I even have a drought for dreamless sleep here for you. You should wake up an hour before the feast."

Harry nodded mutely, and sat down on a bed that the aurors conjured for him, and took the potion without blinking, "two months…" he looked up at Dumbledore, "I'm sorry about your office sir."

Dumbledore grinned widely. Harry Potter was back, and there was nothing anyone could do about it

--

Hermione granger was exceptionally smart, and aware. She had to work for this awareness however, so work at it she did. When she received her letter, she immediately went to Diagon alley for all of the books on politics she could get. She discovered that purebloods most always thought themselves above others, and that to get anywhere, she would have to be the best. So she went and got more books. One of said new books was 'The History of the Wizarding World through the Ages'.

It told her of Voldemort, and Harry Potter. She did the math, and found that Harry Potter would be in her year. She knew that should she befriend him, she could make it straight to the top. The only problem was that all of the books said that Dumbledore was protecting him, so she wasn't sure if she could get in close enough to use him as she planned to. Her saving grace at that point came in the form of a letter – from Albus Dumbledore himself.

'Miss Hermione Granger,

Mr. Blotts, and Mr. Flourish have informed me of you're affinity for political books, and I would like to offer you a way in. Mr. Harry Potter will be attending Hogwarts this year, as I'm sure you are already aware, and he will need to be kept under control. I would like to entrust you with this mission. You're counterpart will be Ronald Weasely. I have the entire year planned out, and should everything go to plan, you will have a large vault in Gringotts under your name. Sign the bottom of the paper if you accept - if you decline, you will be obliviated, and the letter will self destruct.

Albus Dumbledore

P.S. – I know you will make the right choice Miss Granger. Do not disappoint me.'

Needless to say, she signed without a second thought, and her successful political career was ensured. That was all that really mattered to Hermione anyway.

--

Ron Weasely had received a similar letter to Hermione's, and had signed even quicker than she had. The combined promise of money, and a way to get one up on the rest of his family was enough to make him shiver in delight. Besides, he would be Harry Potter's best and first friend. What could be more beneficial to a political career than that?

He had met with Dumbledore shortly after school had started, and they discussed the plan. Everything had progressed from there almost entirely to plan. It was true that Ron became jealous of Harry often enough, and that led to a few problems, but nothing Ron saw as terrible. He also didn't like Hermione at first, but had come to accept her, and now would admit with little prompting that they made a good team.

Presently, he and Hermione were packing up for the ride to Hogwarts. Dumbledore had already told them of what happened to Harry, and they both knew that their jobs would be more difficult than ever. Neither was particularly concerned, as Harry was easily distracted, and it wouldn't be too hard to keep him a mediocre student who was the school quiddich star – just like Harry was meant to be.

--

Olivander sighed as the final last minute child rushed out the door. His conscience had been plaguing him of late. Dumbledore had come to him several years before, and had told him it was imperative that Harry believe his wand came from his personal phoenix. He hadn't questioned it at the time but he was starting to.

You see, Harry had in fact received a wand that was Voldemort's twin, but no Slytherin heir would ever have a phoenix wand core. Voldemort's wand was actually Slytherin's, and Harry's belonged to Slytherin's wife. The cores were basilisk venom in reality. The only thing Olivander thought brought him some redemption was that Dumbledore believed the cores to be dragon heartstring.

--

Harry was woken up with little time to spare. He was told that his trunk had been moved for him, and he was given his wand. When he asked about the wrist cuffs, he was told they prevented him from becoming dangerously violent again, and that should he find himself in mortal danger, the cuffs would drop off. Dumbledore knew this to be a complete lie, but it didn't really matter so long as Harry accepted it.

Ten minutes before the feast was scheduled to start, Harry was brought before Dumbledore fully cleaned and dressed in Gryffindor robes. Dumbledore smiled widely. Harry really was meant to be the Gryffindor golden boy, "Hello my boy! I trust you're all settled?"

"Yes sir. Thank you for the new clothing. Its perfect," Dumbledore wondered what Harry was talking about, but he was obviously happy about it.

"Of course Harry. It was actually Sirius's birthday present to you. He asked me to send the owl off for him before the end of the year. I haven't seen it yet of course, but I'm glad you like it," Harry smiled, and Dumbledore patted himself on the back. Harry would be grateful to him for helping Sirius, and should he not approve of whatever Harry seemed to have bought himself, he would have a way to say that he didn't approve.

"Thank you again sir. I'm sure Sirius appreciated it," there was determination mixed with sadness filling Harry's eyes.

"It was no trouble Harry. Would you like to walk down to the great hall with me? The other students have just sat down, and the first years should have just arrived," Harry looked slightly uncomfortable with the idea, but Dumbledore needed to make an appearance with him, "Come now Harry. No need to be frightened."

"With all due respect, I'm not frightened. I would prefer to enter alone. I'm sure it wouldn't do to much harm were I to enter a minute after you," he tried to interrupt, "I can say hello to the first years, and give them some encouragement."

That stopped Dumbledore in his tracks. It would help Harry's golden boy image to be seen as the person that everyone could go to. He could bind Harry to him later, but there wasn't likely to be an opportunity for him to address the younger years before they were biased by house placements, "yes I do believe that would be alright. Would you mind bringing them up to the front? Minerva can wait with the stool."

Harry looked surprised, and replied slowly, "I suppose I could do that…"

"Excellent! Wait outside the doors for me to give the signal before you enter," Harry nodded consent, "well then – off we go!" Dumbledore bounced all the way to the great hall, while Harry made his way to the first years.

"Hello students! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! I'm sure that many of you have noticed that Harry Potter is not among you. He fell ill this summer, and has spent his time at Hogwarts recovering. I ask that you do not question him on the matter. He has recently agreed to lend me a hand with the sorting this year. Some of the first years were in need of a little pep talk you see, so without further ado – let the sorting begin!"

There was tumultuous applause, and Harry entered the hall with the first years in tow.

--

Meanwhile, Harry had made it to the first years, "Hello everyone," they all turned to him nervously, "I'm Harry Potter," they gasped, and Harry rolled his eyes, "yes. The Harry Potter. I'm not as insane as the papers tell you, and would love to help you out should you have any problems, and regardless of your house. You will be sorted by a hat, so you can't really put much faith in your sorting anyway," there were a few nervous laughs. Harry could tell that some of the more intelligent children were intrigued, "well anyway – any last minute questions?"

A girl raised her hand, and he nodded to her, "where are the kitchens?"

Harry raise an eyebrow, "I'll draw you all up some directions, and bring them to you ASAP. You aren't supposed to know about them, so no telling I told you."

They all grinned, "If we're not supposed to know about them, how do you?"

Harry drew himself up, and put on an obviously fake haughty accent, "I am the most specialist Gryffindor golden boy, and know everything," They all laughed, and Harry grinned in reply, "Ah… that's my cue, come on little ones. Time to stick a musty old hat on your heads!" they giggled once more, and Harry charged into the great hall, opening both doors at once. The first years followed behind him giggling, and talking about 'Harry Potter the most specialist Gryffindor golden boy.'

He led them up to the stage, and stepped back to the bottom of the head podium, but did not sit down. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but figured that Harry knew what he was doing. As each kid was sorted, they all passed by Harry, who hugged Hufflepuffs, shook hands with Slytherins, patted Ravenclaws on the back, and ruffled Gryffindors hair. They all smiled brightly at him, and waved as they joined their tables.

Dumbledore was ecstatic. Obviously Harry had them all under control. Harry bowed to the head table, and took his seat, and Dumbledore stood, "congratulations on your placements! And thank you Harry. I know you are all starving, so I'll let you eat!" he clapped his hands and the food appeared.

Ron dug in immediately, but Hermione leant over to talk to Harry, "are you feeling better?"

Harry nodded, and flicked a pea at one of the first years, who glared at him good-naturedly, "I'm fine. Not really hungry, but I'm fine nonetheless."

The first year flicked a pea back at Harry, who loaded a spoon with mashed potatoes, and flung it at her. Her mouth was opened, and it flew right in, causing Harry to laugh, along with several others. She scowled, and tossed a date at him, but he snatched it right out of the air, "That's no fair!" she squealed.

"All's fair in food fights," Harry declared.

There was a mischievous glint in her eyes, "well then, I would suggest you watch out. I might get ideas."

Harry laughed, "You should talk to Fred and George. They'd be happy to recruit you – I'll give you their owl address. In the mean time, practice chaser. You've got a good arm."

"Harry! Stop giving the first years bad ideas," she slipped into her normal role easily, "and what did you say that got them all to like you so quickly? I've never seen anything like it!"

Harry scowled, "hello to you to! My summer was nonexistent thank you. How was yours?"

"Oy! Chill out mate. You know 'mione. She always has to be learning," Ron said through a stuffed mouth, "and anyway, wasn't it just like three days or so since you last saw us for you? Can't have missed us too much."

Harry was taken aback, "I still would have liked a hello!"

Ron shrugged, "sorry mate. Malfoy was being an ass on the train again. He was looking for you."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I'm sure," he turned to Hermione, "I just said what felt right. I'm glad it made them more comfortable."

One of the new male first years tossed a broiled onion at him, and he ducked under it without even looking. It splattered all over Pavarti, who squealed. The boy gaped at Harry, "how did you do that? You didn't even see it!"

Harry grinned, "Sight isn't the only sense a person has. I heard you toss it."

Many people's eyes widened, but Hermione just rolled her eyes, "really Harry, you should be more mature!"

"I don't know Hermione – that was pretty brilliant," Ron grinned as Hermione scowled.

"Harry needs to be a roll model Ron!"

Harry preformed a cleaning charm at Pavarti, who smiled gratefully, "Hermione – why would I need to be a roll model? It's not like I'm a prefect, and I've already volunteered my services as a guidance counselor of sorts, haven't I midgets?"

The first years all confirmed, and dessert appeared, which distracted Ron, and the majority of the Gryffindors. Hermione was still on about it though, "Harry!"

He sighed, "Look Hermione – I just woke up yesterday. I haven't had any fun or relaxation time since last summer. I think I'm entitled to have some fun, yeah?"

She softened, "Oh Harry, I'm sorry. I forgot."

"It's alright Hermione. No hard feelings," he smiled, and she grinned back, glad that she hadn't done any damage. Harry spent the rest of dinner talking with his fellow Gryffindors, and tossing various food items at first years, who valiantly tried to hit him back. Dumbledore made the usual announcements, and sent them all to bed.

Harry walked over to the girls dorm stairs, and sat down in front of them, "hello stairs," they turned into a slide and back again in reply. Harry smiled, "surely you can tell that's not what I have in mind. I just want to tuck them in. It is there first night after all," the stairs flipped into a slide once more, but changed back when Harry put his hand on them to show their consent. He stood, and turned to the room, "come on girls, let's get you settled. Boys wait here for me," he headed up the stairs with the trail of girls behind him.

The girls dorms were bigger, and fancier than the boys, but were far too glitzy for Harry's taste. He showed each of the girls to their beds, and watched as they each got their pajamas, and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. When they were all ready he had them each climb into bed, where he tucked them in, and gave them each a pat on the head, "Good night girls! Sleep tight!"

"Good night Harry."

"Night golden boy."

"Night. See you tomorrow."

"G'night Harry"

He smiled, and headed back down to a room full of stunned boys, who immediately crowded him, and asked how it was, and how they could get up as well. Harry scowled, "stop acting like horny gits for one. Come on newbie's! Let's get you settled too."

He marched straight upstairs with the boys chatting behind him. They all just peeled off everything but their boxers, and climbed in. Harry whacked each one with a pillow, and said good night, before proceeding to his dorm room.

Ron was waiting up for him, "what was that Harry?"

"Just making them feel comfortable Ron," Harry changed into a pair of black pajama pants.

"Yeah right. Taken an interest in the younger population Harry? I always thought you headed towards older woman," Ron sneered.

Harry rounded on Ron instantly, and pushed him up against a bed post, "How dare you! I was simply doing for them what I would have liked some one to do for me you buffoon!"

Ron's eyes were wide with fear, "I'm sorry! I was only joking Harry – no harm done! I know you would never do anything like that."

Harry dropped him, and Ron held his neck breathing hard, "whatever Ron. I'm going to bed."

Harry climbed in, and sealed the curtains around himself, before leaning back against his pillows. He really wasn't tired at all. He closed his eyes, and cleared his mind, 'Hello Tom. Everything is going to plan.'


End file.
